e_delmar | (no subject)

(no subject)

Ennis ain't never been one for reading, like Kaylee does. And even if his hands weren't a mess, knitting still wouldn't be his thing. But he's got some wood, and he's got a knife. And even if the damn thing'll end up looking like a shaved log, carving gives him something to do, and the lounge is at least a small change of view from the bunks.

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Ennis squeezes her hand a little bit, not real sure what to say, what to do. And when he opens his mouth it don't mean he lets go of her hand, and his words are quiet, raspy.

"I wanted to be a sophomore."

And it's not a non-sequitur, not really.

She looks up at him, her face wet. Even through her tears, she wants to listen.

He clears his throat, embarrassed now, but continues.

"Drove to school every day in a broke down piece of shit, weren't nothin' else we could afford. Wanted to be a sophomore. junior. senior. Get some piece of paper says I ain't useless."

He shakes his head, frowning like he ain't sayin' quite what he means.

"I liked it."

She nods, understanding exactly what he is saying.

More tears slip down her cheeks. She's crying for herself, for Ennis, for all the ways the universe is unfair.

"Truck just... stopped startin', one day, couldn't afford to get it fixed."

A cough, two, more. When he's done, he puts his handkerchief back in his pocket.

"Got me a job, though, and a wife 'n kids."

And maybe the rest of the story ain't quite full of hope and happy fluffy dreams, but he does what he can, and Inara ain't him.

"And Jack. Can't forget Jack."

She squeezes his hand tightly, the tears slowing to a trickle. She's incredibly grateful for this - she knows how hard it is for Ennis to open up.

He looks up at her, a little surprised, and if his own eyes are a little bright, most like it's from all the coughing.

"And Jack."

She sits quietly for a few minutes, gripping Ennis' hand, letting his calm calm her. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a handkerchief, letting go of his hand to clean her face.

"Thank you, Ennis. I think that I have needed to do that for a while now." She reaches back out and takes his hand again, looking at him firmly. "And thank you for sharing that with me."

Words echo through his head from he don't even remember when-

If you can't fix it, you've gotta stand it,

and he clears his throat uncomfortably, nodding at Inara. When he looks up at her, there's something that's not quite a smile on his face, but his eyes are kind.

"You'll be alright."

She leans over and gives him a light kiss on the cheek.

"You are quite a man, Ennis Delmar."

She stands and gives him a smile, then heads back towards her shuttle.

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