e_delmar | (no subject)

(no subject)

Ennis ain't never been one for reading, like Kaylee does. And even if his hands weren't a mess, knitting still wouldn't be his thing. But he's got some wood, and he's got a knife. And even if the damn thing'll end up looking like a shaved log, carving gives him something to do, and the lounge is at least a small change of view from the bunks.

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He coughs, once, twice, it's a few minutes before he stops, his face red from [mostly] the coughing.

"Just meant, didn't know they picked people so early."

She moves one hand to his back, rubbing it gently as he coughs.

Then it's her turn to blush slightly. "Oh! Yes, it is a bit early. But not as much as geisha back on Earth-That-Was. The traditional age for them to begin training was 3 years and 3 days. Can you imagine?"

. . . clearly, he can't.

She shakes her head. "It was difficult enough living in under the strictures of Companion life at 12, I can't begin to think what it would be like trying to control at 3 year old."

He frowns, shaking his head.

She gives his hand a squeeze. "I know it sounds strange. Even people from my world have a hard time understanding Companion life."

"Don't seem like much 'f a life to me."

"It is confining in a way," she admits. "But I did get to meet many different kinds of people and see a view of the world and inner workings of society that most people never do. There's a freedom in that, in understanding people and helping them."

Ennis looks skeptical. Interested, but skeptical.

"The life is most certainly not for everyone. The classes start out much larger than those who end up making it all the way through. And you never stop learning or practising, even after you are finished with official training."

"You keep on with the, uh. school?"

She shakes her head. "Many Companions travel - we didn't have to attend formal lessons, but I certainly practised on my own. Especially dance. But I don't have to worry about that any more."

She smiles brightly. "It's a nice change knowing that I don't have to report to anyone any longer."
Oh, what a good liar she is.

Mhmmm. And Ennis almost buys it.

Nah, not even almost.

"And I certainly won't miss the yearly checkups." She shudders. "I'm not a big fan of needles, or cold exam tables for that matter."

You can keep peddlin' your wares, lady, Ennis ain't buyin'.

"And trying to keep a normal schedule, while flying with this bunch. Very glad to be rid of that."
Her voice might quavering just a tiny bit.

He reaches out slowly, quietly, puts his hand on hers.

She opens her mouth to say something else flippant, but can't, shutting it instead and gazing down at her lap. There's no point in pretending with Ennis.

The gentle touch causes the tears to start to slip down her nose as she grasps his hand tightly.

Ennis squeezes her hand a little bit, not real sure what to say, what to do. And when he opens his mouth it don't mean he lets go of her hand, and his words are quiet, raspy.

"I wanted to be a sophomore."

And it's not a non-sequitur, not really.

She looks up at him, her face wet. Even through her tears, she wants to listen.

He clears his throat, embarrassed now, but continues.

"Drove to school every day in a broke down piece of shit, weren't nothin' else we could afford. Wanted to be a sophomore. junior. senior. Get some piece of paper says I ain't useless."

He shakes his head, frowning like he ain't sayin' quite what he means.

"I liked it."

She nods, understanding exactly what he is saying.

More tears slip down her cheeks. She's crying for herself, for Ennis, for all the ways the universe is unfair.

"Truck just... stopped startin', one day, couldn't afford to get it fixed."

A cough, two, more. When he's done, he puts his handkerchief back in his pocket.

"Got me a job, though, and a wife 'n kids."

And maybe the rest of the story ain't quite full of hope and happy fluffy dreams, but he does what he can, and Inara ain't him.

"And Jack. Can't forget Jack."

She squeezes his hand tightly, the tears slowing to a trickle. She's incredibly grateful for this - she knows how hard it is for Ennis to open up.

He looks up at her, a little surprised, and if his own eyes are a little bright, most like it's from all the coughing.

"And Jack."