(no subject)

[e_delmar]

[OOM: After this.]

He'd go to the stables, but he'd have to go through all the people to get there. He'd go-

well, shit, he'd go just about anywhere, really, but he can't. So he's in his fucking shithole of a room at the fucking shithole of the end of the universe, where a fucking shithole tried to kiss him-

they know, they know, they all know

and SHIT if he doesn't just punch the fucking wall.

Comments

[jack_f_twist]

What, again? Jack doesn't say, likely saving himself from the same fate the wall to (their) the room had suffered.

He does look up, though, and he looks mostly confused and more than a little angry himself, but it's hard enough just to try and meet Ennis' eyes.

"How the hell'd that come about?" He thinks back to the first week he'd been here, Ennis angry and that guy--what was his name?--on the floor.

"That guy from before? Made another mistake?"

[e_delmar]

Ennis shakes his head, hung low, wanting to meet Jack's eyes and just not able to.

[jack_f_twist]

Jack falls silent. There's a bitter taste in his mouth--anger and jealousy--and a hand at his side clenches, but the one that he brings up to Ennis' shoulder is soft.

[e_delmar]

Ennis leans into the touch, wanting it there, wanting to shove it away; wanting something soft, wanting to hit something.

Wanting to be hit.

[jack_f_twist]

"Shit," Jack says, in that tone that means that he's angry enough to do something stupid.

His hand tightens, slightly, moves to the side of Ennis' neck. It's a gesture half of comfort, half of claiming. He pictures some other guy kissing Ennis and it makes him feel sick.

[e_delmar]

Ennis looks up, then, taking his hat off of his head, and meets Jack's eyes. His own are soft. Soft, and angry, and wanting-



something, as he shakes his head against what, even he doesn't know.

[jack_f_twist]

Jack wants to kill him, the bastard that tried this, but instead of pacing like he wants, and yelling like he wants, he moves his hand up Ennis' neck and rubs his thumb over the tense muscles there, takes a step closer. He reaches up, and takes Ennis' hat from his hand, puts it down.

"Hey," he says, quiet-like. "It's alright."

it isn't, of course. Not really. But that's what Jack's decided and he's going to make it so if it kills him.

[e_delmar]

Ennis reaches up, pushing out - not the way he pushed Lawrence, not to get Jack to step away, just to push, to fight, to feel something - as his chokes a breath out, hands clenching despite the pain. There's a low grumble in his throat that could be anger, could be need. Most likely both.

[jack_f_twist]

Jack pushes back, fisting his other hand in Ennis' shirt, pulling him closer and pushing him away at the same time, rough. He gets pushed off-balance, regains it and steps back into Ennis just as quickly. Something in his eyes is hard, and hot, jealous and wanting.

[e_delmar]

He swallows again, groaning. Can't get out what he wants to say, what he can't never ever say because that makes it too real and all he wants is to get away from people, from the world, from everything but Jack. Curls up against him like he can.

[jack_f_twist]

Jack wraps an arm around him, pulls him close as he can, breath hot against Ennis' ear.

"Don't you," he says, low, "even think about it," and kisses him, grabbing hold of Ennis' collar, to burn away the feel of that other man with his own breath and his own mouth.

[e_delmar]

And Ennis goes for it like a fish goes for water. Like Jack's kisses can turn back the clock to the beginning of the night, beginning of the day, hell, beginning of the fucking day before he showed up in this godforsaken place where the only fucking good thing is sitting here holding him.

[jack_f_twist]

He lets go of Ennis' collar, grabs the back of Ennis' neck instead, holding him like he can. Ennis needs to be pushed and Jack pushes him, but Jack's got that arm there around Ennis' waist, just in case.

He pulls back far enough to take a breath, his forehead against Ennis', rubs his thumb over Ennis' cheek.

[e_delmar]

Holding him like he can, pushing him like he can. Pushing him like he needs. There's a sob of breath as Jack pulls back, and Ennis is reaching up for him, grabbing his shoulders, fingers running along the hard muscles as he grabs Jack, pulling him close, kissing him hard.

[jack_f_twist]

Jack pushes into him, a leg between Ennis', holding and kissing, his breath coming fast, his hand running over slope of shoulder and neck and up into hair to tug.

"Okay," he mumbles, into Ennis' mouth, "'s okay."

I'm here.

That part doesn't get said, hell, that's just common sense--Ennis needs him, and Jack's there. No question about it.

[e_delmar]

Jack's always there, and Ennis sure as fuck ain't sure what he'd do with himself if he fell and Jack wasn't. So he don't think about that none, he just lets himself fall up into Jack, leaning back, pulling Jack down this him, 'cause Jack's always there to catch his fall.

[jack_f_twist]

There's Jack's arm strong across his back, and Jack standing there sturdy right in front of him, and Jack presses a kiss to Ennis' neck before he pulls him over towards the bed, pulling them both down on top of it and letting his hand smooth over Ennis' forehead, his neck, his shoulder and chest, waits to see if Ennis has calmed down any.

[e_delmar]

Ennis is skittish, that's for damn sure. Skittish like a colt, but he ain't lashing out no more. He closes his eyes, letting Jack's hand wash over him, letting Jack calm him down.

[jack_f_twist]

There's word people say, moments like this, and Jack's said 'em without ever really meaning them, but he can't say them now and instead lets them exist only in the touch of his fingers to Ennis' neck.

"Hey," he says, like he always does, soft. He licks his lip, tastes Ennis there. "You alright?"

[e_delmar]

Ennis opens his eyes and nods his head, even though what he means is no, what he means is never, what he means is I'll always be wrong.

[jack_f_twist]

Ain't wrong if it feel right, Jack would say, except he only nods, and watches Ennis, letting his fingers slip through the hair at the nape of Ennis' neck. Licks his lips, leans forward and kisses him again, softer.

[e_delmar]

And Ennis might agree, if'n he could just get that voice that sounds so much like his daddy to shut the hell up. Instead he leans forward, kissing Jack back, letting him lead in a way he don't never do with Jack.

[jack_f_twist]

Not since the beginning, anyway--when Ennis didn't know what to do, though he figured it out soon enough--and Jack shifts closer, runs his hand down Ennis' side and tugs at his shirt, hoping to find skin. He can taste brandy and smoke on Ennis' mouth, the salt of sweat, and it makes something twist in his stomach to realize that someone else could have kissed Ennis like he's doing now.

[e_delmar]

Ennis' stomach twists like that every time he thinks of Jack and- anybody, really, though he can't never say anything about it. He swallows, swallowing the bitter memory of Lawrence on his lips, breathing in Jack, feeling Jack's hands on his skin and closing his eyes against something that feels so damn good.

[jack_f_twist]

If there's one thing Jack hates, it's letting his mind dwell on things he can't do nothin' about, and he knows Ennis dwells, so he grasps Ennis' waist, leans their foreheads together.

"Forget about it," he says, quiet. "It don't mean nothin', Ennis."

None of it means anything, except this.

This is everything.